"The Sorcerer's Apprentice" Review... It's Bad, Really Really Bad

So, it's a few weeks late, but I avoided the critics and went to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice (SA). Maybe I should have listened? No! That's why we see movies ourselves, to develop our own opinions. So, here was my thinking.

Nicolas Cage, I like him. Jay Baruchel, I like him. Alfred Molina, I like him too. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, I love his movies. So far so good. The story of a sorcerer having to teach a young man the tricks of his trade, pretty cool idea. Let's get into what really happened, not what I was hoping to happen.


What I liked about the movie:
The Special Effects

This is no longer a factor strong enough to hold a movie up on its own. I remember the mid-1990's, terrible movies were AWESOME because we'd never seen special effects before, more specifically computer generated effects. SA has some incredible stuff in it. Nothing new per say, but it was visually stunning to look at. I especially loved the broom scene that was talked about so much before the movie launched.

What I didn't like about the movie:
The Story
I think there was a lot of potential wasted on this film. I know Hollywood is all about time=money, but this is ridiculous. The story of SA was there, the script was not! If they took the story, spent another 6-12 months tweeking it, I don't think I'd be writing this section of my review right now. Centuries ago, this person betrayed this person, then that person got locked away in a contraption, only to accidentally be released years later, blah freakin' blah. It was so stupid. This amazing sorcerer (Cage), can't stop a 9 year old little runt from fumbling and bumbling his way into trouble? What the hell man? Give us, the audience, some credit will ya?

Then there's the GOD AWFUL love story, sub-plot garbage. This girl wanted that guy, not the other guy, so the other guy got jealous and joined the other girl in betraying the first guy. Did you get that? Yea I got it, but it's ludicrous. For God's sake, who cares?! Stupid. Monica Bellucci loves Cage's character, not Molina's character, blah blah, I don't care.

The Acting
Every actor/actress in this movie should be ashamed of themselves for the performances they phoned in. I want an apology from each and every one of the them, including the extras. OK, I'm being a bit dramatic, but literally every performance is forgettable. The one performance I was disappointed in most was that of Jay Baruchel's. I just gave him props when I reviewed She's Out of My League, and now I'm scratching my head. He plays the same, dorky, neurotic character in League that he does here in SA. I like Baruchel, but this movie will be the low-point of his acting career.

The Direction
It's not all the actors and writer's fault this movie was as bad as it was. Jon Turteltaub stunk up every scene in the movie. The pacing was off; within seconds we're running, then crawling, then running again. The editing was terrible, choppy and unorganized. The score SHOULD have been memorable and worthy of a summer blockbuster. It was forgettable at best. Shoot, even wardrobe sucked. Turteltaub is to blame for 80% of the movie's awfulness. Yes, movie making is a collaborative effort, but Turteltaub has the final say so.


I am not being "harsh" on this one, folks. Go see it and join my hatred for this film. I was so mad, so upset at the nonsense movie I saw, I literally text dozens of my friends my hatred for the film. It was a waste of time, money, and... time. I will never listen to the critics when it comes to my choice of films, but damn they were right. With a 42% on Rotten Tomatoes, you can see where my hatred is coming from. GOD I HATED THIS MOVIE!

"She's Out of My League" DVD Review

I'm gonna bet She's Out of My League is the best movie comedy of the year... that you HAVEN'T seen. 'League' was one of the best comedies I have seen in a long time. I wanna dive right in.

The movie stars Jay Baruchel as Kirk. Kirk has low self-esteem and is an under-achiever. He had aspirations of becoming a pilot, but ended up working with the TSA with 3 of his loser buddies. He lives at home with his mess of a family and drives a p.o.s. Dodge Neon.

A twist of fate, and a returned cell phone later, he starts dating Molly, played by the beautiful Alice Eve. Molly is the opposite of Kirk in that she's got a great job, a great place to live and connections all over Pittsburgh. Hilarity ensues when the two start to get serious and each person's insecurities come to the forefront.


What I liked:
The Characters
Baruchel is one of the most talented young actors in Hollywood in my opinion. He is a scene stealer in Knocked Up, held his own with the best of 'em in Tropic Thunder, and is turning a lot of heads in the upcoming The Sorcerer's Apprentice. He knows how to play neurotic, which his character Kirk is in League. Kirk is lovable, he's the loser we root for in chick-flicks, we want him to win.

Molly is kind, sweet and really likes Kirk. She's got some issues just like Kirk. For example, she hasn't told her parents she quit being a lawyer to do event planning. These flaws make Molly's character feel more relateable. But had the movie made her out to be a perfect 10, we wouldn't care about her at all.

One of the many great things about The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up were the supporting characters (Baruchel being one of them in Knocked Up). League is no different; Kirk's family members are classic! His dad is as close to mentally retarded as you can be without being diagnosed, his brother is a wanna be macho man, his sister in-law to be makes fun of him, and his mom is as sweet as apple pie.

Kirk's friends are the ones that steal the show in this movie. Stainer is the loyal, idiot friend with a cover band. Jack is the good looking guy with all the nonsense advice about women. Then there's Devon, played by Nate Torrence. Devon is the married, goof ball friend that you just love, no matter how annoying he can be. Torrence plays the part PERFECTLY... and remember this, Disney's Aladdin, when you watch the movie, so funny!

What I didn't like:
Sub-Plots
I hate discussing plots during reviews, but these really bugged me. There were sub-plots involving Kirk's ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend that just didn't work. There were laughs at their expense, but they took away from the story more than they added to it. Same goes for the family's big trip, also pointless. I understand the writers needed to setup a dramatic climax, but there were so many ways to do it without going down the ridiculous route. The movie is realistic for 90% of the movie, with things that the audience can relate to, and then it just sputters towards the finish. Normally when I like a movie I just tell you guys "it's OK, it's not a big deal"; not this time... why take a chance at ruining the movie with one over-the-top gag.


Overall the movie is, as it's title character is, an under-achiever. The movie grossed 45 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget. This may sound like a lot, but compare that to mainstream hits like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up which grossed 177 and 219 million dollars respectively. Either way, go see the movie! It has a lot of things the made the aforementioned movies a huge success; a great cast, great characters and one-liners galore. Jay Baruchel and Alice Eve shine in this crowd pleasing gem.

Blu-Ray disc special features according to BestBuy.com: Deleted scenes Extended ending Blooper reel Devon's dating show-a hilarious "do's & dont's" guide to dating for guys Commentary by director Jim Field Smith.